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indifferent

Angry.  Not sad, happy or indifferent. I want a cigarette!! And I'm keeping me from getting one.  Intense want came after my son and his wife stopped. By.  Don't see my kids often--20,24 & 27-- self centered world as they should be at that age BUT I realized their stopping by and watching a DVD if when he was a child made me miss those years of my kds needing me. Their hugs brough me comfort. Their smiles and laughter joy.  Now I'm on my own and the comfort I felt from having them around needs to be replaced.   Cigarettes were always there.  A carrots doesn't do it.  Daughter coming in at about 2am from school just until Sunday which is nice. 
Grrrrr. Too late to call anyone for support cuz they all go to bed art. --it's 10pm here.  God help me make it through another day

indifferent Day 5

Worked today so kept my mind busier. This evening I'd love to smoke and relax.  Still hanging in there

sad Day 4

Just read my last entry--it looks like its written by an idiot. This time I'm writing in the light;). Ok so day 4 is the pits.   Feel wound up and keep reaching for the non existent cigarettes.  I use to sit on the porch and smOke and relax so it's a major trigger.  A friend dropped over a rosary and I found that saying 1 decade(sp) while focusing and breathing takes about as long as a cigarette and keeps hands busy. 

I don't want to quit but I know--for life--I must

indifferent Day 3

Headaches b really really want a cigarette but haven't given in.   The thing that really stops me us --if I died by doing something to myself like smOking my kids would never fog give me and I wouldgo peacefully.  Blaming myself would not become thing I'd want to do

sad Doing it

Wish there were more mood entries. Quit yesterday and using the patch. Wonder if there's any nicotine in it cuz I'm wired so tightly. Part of me days go ahead and smoke. You need it.  The other says you will really be mad if you die from something you could have stopped. Bored. Use to sit on the porch with coffee and a cigarette--relax.  Can't relax doing anything right now. Hopefully by the end of the week this will have passed

happy Restarted Quit Smoking Program

Member153 had a relapse and restarted their Quit Smoking Program with The Stop Smoking College.

They aim to kick their 30 a day habit by using the following methods:

  • Electronic cigarettes
  • Nicotine patches

Their reasons for quitting include:

  • Better health
  • More money
  • To look and smell better
  • To improve their senses of smell and taste
  • To make a family or friend happy
  • To improve their fertility or the health of their children
  • To regain control of their life
  • Power back

happy Restarted Quit Smoking Program

Member153 had a relapse and restarted their Quit Smoking Program with The Stop Smoking College.

They aim to kick their 25 a day habit by using the following methods:

  • Electronic cigarettes
  • Nicotine patches

Their reasons for quitting include:

  • Better health
  • More money
  • To look and smell better
  • To improve their senses of smell and taste
  • To make a family or friend happy
  • To improve their fertility or the health of their children
  • To regain control of their life
  • Live. Baby. Power

happy Restarted Quit Smoking Program

Member153 had a relapse and restarted their Quit Smoking Program with The Stop Smoking College.

They aim to kick their 25 a day habit by using the following methods:

  • Electronic cigarettes
  • Nicotine patches

Their reasons for quitting include:

  • Better health
  • More money
  • To look and smell better
  • To make a family or friend happy
  • To improve their fertility or the health of their children
  • To regain control of their life
  • Baby. Life. Power

indifferent

Wish there was a mood for afraid, anxious, excited, proud.  Hoping I can quit  don't have the money to keep smoking.  

happy Restarted Quit Smoking Program

Member153 had a relapse and restarted their Quit Smoking Program with The Stop Smoking College.

They aim to kick their 25 a day habit by using the following methods:

  • Electronic cigarettes

Their reasons for quitting include:

  • Better health
  • More money
  • To look and smell better
  • To make a family or friend happy
  • To regain control of their life
  • LIVE to see my grandchildren

indifferent

So today nothing on the agenda but I'm anxious about having to get up at 615 am to drive k to work then, 3 hours later work myself. I need to live in the moment instead of anticipating . Nine if the things that have turned my life upside down could have been foreseen so no matter how much I worry it's not going to make a dufference